SIT
Seamless
I just did my second order with Seamless, and the experience actually was seamless. The app is nice n easy to use, they recommend good places, and its the first time I've ordered take out when the food has actually arrived still hot. And writing this I have just remembered that I totally forgot about my Spinach Strombolli's... which are probably cold by now. Fuck.
And I will point out the fact that I ordered anything with Spinach in, willingly, along with a burger that featured AVOCADO'S... is a testament to the actual joy I find in using Seamless, as it made me feel a little adventurous and get something ever so slightly less heart attack inducing. Which is my general taste.
[I really enjoyed the Avocado, too. To the point that I'm a little scared]
All in all, I've had 2 good experiences in a row... and I could sit on the face of every employee in wherever the fuck Seamless is and of Due Fratelli, who I will definitely use again because their menu is ENORMOUS and awesome, and I loved my Avocado/Monterey Jack Cheeseburger so much, which is A LOT more than I can say about these motherfuckers:
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SHIT
grubHub
Now... when it comes to marketing, grubHub are pretty damn good at getting peoples attention. Students in their boxers, cursing fish... fun colours and cartoons n what not, yeah we all love it and are like ha what a funny website that also is a source of all food, awesome, I'll use that sometime when I'm home by myself on a Saturday night and feeling lazy as shit. Great.
Well, I've ordered from grubHub MANY a time. Mainly because until recently, I didn't know about Seamless. And every single time, I have called them up with an issue. Every. Damn. Motherfucking. Time.
For one thing, the hold music is forever etched into my brain... that 'cool', 'loungy', 'even jack johnson would fall asleep', 'hey man, I'm just chillin' in my super awesome office whilst I help super awesome people get their super awesome food from our... wait for it... superawesome website' music that even elevators wouldn't give the time of day to, but you know whoever the degenerate was who composed that music thinks he's all kinds of, yep, awesome.
Then I get some message like oh blah blah be aware this call may be recorded to ensure awesomeness or some shit... [that is why I've already used the a-word so many times, any frequent grubHubber will have that word injected into their vocabulary forever when discussing said website] and then after 20 minutes my super cool, happy to be alive consulation/telephone slave person answers my call to help me.
Granted they are always very nice, too nice, so I can't bitch them out for their customer service skills, and usually I can get some kind of coupon or refund out of them because of my once again late order. But it all takes SO. FUCKING. LONG.
I have had orders be like over 3 hours late before. 3 hours. It arrived past midnight, that kind of late... and I'm on hold on the phone for what feels like an eternity... and then they spend sooooooooo long trying to help us, clearly because they're moving heaven, earth and narnia to get us what we need, but still... narnia is too big... i'll take a refund ITS FINE. Calm down.
The last time I used them their website went so doolally that first it wasnt accepting any of my cards, even though both had more than enough money on them, I call, thats another 20 minutes gone... I try again, the place I'm trying to order from now closes... I try another place, the whole website crashes, and the place closes whilst they fix the problem. In the end I'm left with one over-priced deli/diner thing that took so long to deliver that once again, the food was cold.
I couldn't even bring myself to speak to God's Children of the Happy Place again, no matter what bargain I could squeeze out of them.
I feel like these restaurants feel the same way about grubHub, and thats why they NEVER FOLLOW THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS I LEAVE. Like, Hey, I fucking hate bacon, please don't put any bacon on my jacket potato with cheese like you normally would, pleaseandthanks... and then I get a 3 hour late stone cold jacket potato CAKED in bacon. [I didn't word it exactly like that, because yeah I'd put bacon in the bitches potato if she was like that about it]. They must love Seamless, too... cus everything ran so smoothly both times. Maybe they'll get sick of them, too... but a 2 win streak has surprised me enough to write this... because I had avocado on a burger and actually liked it. Big day for me!
To conclude...
grubHub,
I SHIT ON YOUR FACE.
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ps. I'm sure people have had far worse experiences with grubHub, or even in life itself, I understand... but I like to eat. Especially junk, I like my junk. And when I chose to stay in and not be social, and order some junk, I expect prompt, hot, junk. I don't wanna call happy-clappy idiots, I don't wanna hear that god-awful music, and I don't wanna wait three hours. I can't cook, therefor I won't cook. I will order take-out. I'm lazy, and unashamed of such a personality trait. Annoyed by this? Call grubHub... you'll be on my side in an instant.
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pps. still havent eaten my Strombolli's shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!
Well, I've ordered from grubHub MANY a time. Mainly because until recently, I didn't know about Seamless. And every single time, I have called them up with an issue. Every. Damn. Motherfucking. Time.
For one thing, the hold music is forever etched into my brain... that 'cool', 'loungy', 'even jack johnson would fall asleep', 'hey man, I'm just chillin' in my super awesome office whilst I help super awesome people get their super awesome food from our... wait for it... superawesome website' music that even elevators wouldn't give the time of day to, but you know whoever the degenerate was who composed that music thinks he's all kinds of, yep, awesome.
Then I get some message like oh blah blah be aware this call may be recorded to ensure awesomeness or some shit... [that is why I've already used the a-word so many times, any frequent grubHubber will have that word injected into their vocabulary forever when discussing said website] and then after 20 minutes my super cool, happy to be alive consulation/telephone slave person answers my call to help me.
Granted they are always very nice, too nice, so I can't bitch them out for their customer service skills, and usually I can get some kind of coupon or refund out of them because of my once again late order. But it all takes SO. FUCKING. LONG.
I have had orders be like over 3 hours late before. 3 hours. It arrived past midnight, that kind of late... and I'm on hold on the phone for what feels like an eternity... and then they spend sooooooooo long trying to help us, clearly because they're moving heaven, earth and narnia to get us what we need, but still... narnia is too big... i'll take a refund ITS FINE. Calm down.
The last time I used them their website went so doolally that first it wasnt accepting any of my cards, even though both had more than enough money on them, I call, thats another 20 minutes gone... I try again, the place I'm trying to order from now closes... I try another place, the whole website crashes, and the place closes whilst they fix the problem. In the end I'm left with one over-priced deli/diner thing that took so long to deliver that once again, the food was cold.
I couldn't even bring myself to speak to God's Children of the Happy Place again, no matter what bargain I could squeeze out of them.
I feel like these restaurants feel the same way about grubHub, and thats why they NEVER FOLLOW THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS I LEAVE. Like, Hey, I fucking hate bacon, please don't put any bacon on my jacket potato with cheese like you normally would, pleaseandthanks... and then I get a 3 hour late stone cold jacket potato CAKED in bacon. [I didn't word it exactly like that, because yeah I'd put bacon in the bitches potato if she was like that about it]. They must love Seamless, too... cus everything ran so smoothly both times. Maybe they'll get sick of them, too... but a 2 win streak has surprised me enough to write this... because I had avocado on a burger and actually liked it. Big day for me!
To conclude...
grubHub,
I SHIT ON YOUR FACE.
------------
ps. I'm sure people have had far worse experiences with grubHub, or even in life itself, I understand... but I like to eat. Especially junk, I like my junk. And when I chose to stay in and not be social, and order some junk, I expect prompt, hot, junk. I don't wanna call happy-clappy idiots, I don't wanna hear that god-awful music, and I don't wanna wait three hours. I can't cook, therefor I won't cook. I will order take-out. I'm lazy, and unashamed of such a personality trait. Annoyed by this? Call grubHub... you'll be on my side in an instant.
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pps. still havent eaten my Strombolli's shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!
